


there is a remedy for everything except death

by zapprenfro



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, friendship!showki, hyungwon is death, i cant stop writing sad stuff, i mention joohyuk in one sentence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 20:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8340916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zapprenfro/pseuds/zapprenfro
Summary: (au where death is a person who stays by your side your whole life.)There were countless times Hoseok didn't listen to Hyungwon, and one time when he shouldn't have.





	

“What’s your name?” Hoseok had had a strange boy following him around ever since he could remember. At first he thought it was a ghost and insisted on sleeping between his parents for months, until his mother convinced him ghosts didn’t exist. But if the strange boy, very pale and a bit taller than Hoseok, was not a ghost then who was he. 

The boy looks up in surprise, neither of them had ever said a word to each other before. Usually Hoseok would go on with his daily life and the boy observed him from a safe distance, never coming too close or making the first move for communication. Hoseok used to be scared of him, but curiosity took over after he finally turned four. He was now old enough to not be scared of strange little boys following him around.

“Hyungwon,” the boy finally says. 

Hoseok swings his legs in the air deep in thought, even if he had grown about 2 centimeters (his parents measured on the wall) his feet still couldn’t reach the ground while sitting on the swings.

“My name is Hoseok.” The boy – Hyungwon – sits in the swing next to him nodding.

There’s a silence that drags on for a moment, Hyungwon seems nervous, maybe he is not very good at making friends, Hoseok thinks.  
“Hold old are you? I just turned four!” Hoseok lifts up four fingers for a good impact, Hyungwon smiles shyly and nods in acknowledgement. Then the dark haired boy seems to be deep in thought for a moment, staring at the ground eyebrows furrowing. 

“I…I’m six years old,” Hyungwon finally speaks up, eyes still on the ground.  
“Wow that’s cool! You can already ride the big slide in the park, my mom doesn’t let me yet,” Hoseok pouts at the thought of the thrilling big blue slide still so far away from his reach. 

“I suppose I can,” Hyungwon hums smiling a little. Hoseok thinks the other boy looks nice when he smiles, and decides he should make Hyungwon smile as often as he can. 

“Hoseok, dinner is ready!” His mom calls out from their backdoor.

“I’m coming mom! Wanna race to the backdoor? Mom says I run pretty fast,” Hoseok’s chest swells with pride.

“Sure,” Hyungwon jumps off his swing and they take their places, kneeling on the grass.

“Ready, set, go!”

 

“Mom says it’s nice I have a friend to play with,” they’re lying in the shadow of the old oak tree Hoseok’s family has in their backyard. It’s summer vacation and Hoseok thinks it’s nice to have Hyungwon around so they can play together from sunrise till sunset. Hyungwon was really good at coming up with games.

“You told your mother about me?” Hyungwon lifts his head up a bit taking a glance at Hoseok.

“Yes, of course,” Hoseok says simply, “I think imaginary friends are good for your creativity.” Hoseok had learned many new words at kindergarten and his parents praised him for becoming such a good speaker so fast. His fast learning was probably thanks to Hyungwon, who would always ask Hoseok about his day, even though he was right there next to him all the time. 

“Imaginary friends?” Hyungwon sits up, but doesn’t look at Hoseok. 

“You aren’t a real person, right? My mom can’t see you,” Hoseok sits up as well, looking at the side of Hyungwon’s face, he didn’t look happy. 

“That’s right,” Hyungwon’s jaw is tight as he still refuses to look at Hoseok. 

“Therefore you are an imaginary friend!” Hoseok exclaims in victory, falling back to lie on the ground again. 

Hyungwon smiles, but he looks sad, Hoseok doesn’t understand why. He wants Hyungwon to smile cheerfully again, like he does when he wins at football or finds Hoseok really fast while they play hide and seek. 

“Let’s play hide and seek? I will search first,” the younger suggests as an effort to make Hyungwon happy again. Hyungwon nods, standing up. “Count to 20!”

 

“Hyungwon?” Hoseok called out to the darkness of his room. His parents decided he should give up the night lamp, since he was already starting school. He was a big boy now. Hyungwon would sit at the end of Hoseok’s bed, watching over him through the night. He said he didn’t need to sleep, which Hoseok found odd, but then again maybe imaginary friends just didn’t sleep. At first it was hard for Hoseok to fall asleep when someone was wide awake keeping watch, but he got used to it fast and now it brought him a sense of security. 

“Yes?” 

“Can you…lie next to me tonight?” Hoseok’s voice was only a faint whisper, but Hyungwon had a good hearing as Hoseok had learned. 

“If you want me to I guess I can, why though?” the older boy seemed a bit taken aback by Hoseok’s request. They never touched each other and Hoseok was not certain if he could even touch Hyungwon.

“I’m nervous, school is starting tomorrow and it’s scary,” Hoseok mumbles sort of embarrassed, but he knew Hyungwon was very kind. He even built a pillow nest for Hoseok to hide in when the thunder was scaring him, and they would read comics in there until it was over. 

Hyungwon hums in response, shifting around until he’s next to Hoseok, a safe distance left between their bodies. 

“You will be there with me tomorrow, right?” Hoseok turns around so he’s facing the other boy. Hyungwon is lying on his back, eyes focused on the ceiling. “I will always be with you Hoseok.” 

Hoseok reaches out a hesitant hand, but pulls it back and closes his eyes instead. “Goodnight.”

 

“How do your deaths look like?” Hoseok had been to school for two weeks when one of his classmates brings it up during lunch. Some of his friends look in confusion while others take a look into a certain direction as if for reassurance. 

“Deaths?” A small girl next to Hoseok squeaks. 

“Well yeah? The person who has been with you all your life, did no one tell you poor kids?” 

“You’re the same age you can’t call us kids!” Hoseok tunes out of the conversation escalating into a quarrel, eyes searching for Hyungwon from the cafeteria. He feels panic running into his system for some reason and he wants to talk to Hyungwon as soon as possible, but the elder is nowhere to be seen. 

Hyungwon can’t hide forever and Hoseok is bound to find him with anger clouding his vision. Not finding the words to say anymore the younger ignores Hyungwon for the rest of the day until they reach the peace and comfort of his room. 

“You never told me you are my _death_?!” The built up rage and disappointment is finally let out with clenched fists and shaky breaths. 

“I couldn’t find the right timing…” Hyungwon’s whole body is tensed up as he sits at the edge of Hoseok’s bed, eyes boring holes into the floor. 

“I don’t understand, what does it even mean?” Hoseok can feel tears forming at the back of his eyes, falling down his cheeks as his small body shakes with a mix of emotions.

Hoseok doesn’t know why he’s so mad at Hyungwon, truth to be told it was just scary. Hyungwon was always a good friend to him but hearing the other was something as terrifying as death confused the raven haired boy. 

“Hoseok don’t cry!” Hyungwon seemingly panics, searching for anything to stop the tears. He finds Hoseok’s favorite stuffed animal resting on the pillow, a big Pooh bear, and brings it to him.

“Pooh would like it if you let me explain, Hoseok,” Hyungwon’s voice is high pitched for the comedic relief as he holds the stuffed toy in front of his face. Hoseok sniffles, wiping his tears on his sleeve and nods.

“Pooh says, I am someone who is with you through your whole life and when it’s time to go to heaven, I will take you there,” Hyungwon peeks from behind the bear. “Pooh asks if you could forgive me for not telling you.”

“You’re silly, Hyungwon,” Hoseok lets a small smile form on his lips.

“I’m sorry,” the taller lowers the toy, offering it to Hoseok as a sign of making up.

“You’re forgiven, but you have to do my math homework for me this week!” Grabbing the Pooh from Hyungwon, Hoseok grins. Hyungwon laughs and nods his head, “I’m better in it than you anyways.”

 

Hoseok meets Hyunwoo when he starts high school and he’s the first person Hoseok can truly call his friend – along with Hyungwon of course. Throughout middle school Hoseok was social and had a group of “friends” he would hang out with, but none of them were close to him like Hyunwoo is. They accidentally met up in one of their shared classes and Hoseok liked the calmness that was radiating off the brown haired boy with a beautiful smile. It was comfortable being around him, they slowly and naturally fell into a friendship. 

They spent a lot of time together outside of school as well, and Hyungwon seemed happy to notice Hoseok had someone who he could spend time with, though the other was always there, sitting next to Hoseok or a bit further away. It occurred to Hoseok he had never paid thought to how Hyunwoo had his death always around too, they had never talked about it until he brought it up one day while they were sitting at a picnic table in the park with the big blue slide.

“What’s their name?” Hoseok asks, side eyeing Hyungwon sitting next to him leaning his chin against his palm. 

“My death? His name is Kihyun,” Hyunwoo lifts his eyes from the physics notes he was going through. They were supposed to be revising for the exam tomorrow, but Hoseok counted on Hyungwon’s private tutoring more than his own studying. It seemed the latter was always paying more attention to his classes than the boy himself. 

“That’s a nice name. Nice to meet you, Kihyun,” Hoseok says looking somewhere next to Hyunwoo on the other side of the table. Even if he couldn’t see Kihyun, he was sure that the death was sitting somewhere across Hyungwon. Hyunwoo smiles at him and shoots back the same question.

“His name is Hyungwon.” Hyungwon perks up at the mention of his name and Hoseok smiles fondly. Hyunwoo nods, “thanks for keeping Hoseok’s academic career together, Hyungwon.” 

Hoseok tries to flick the other’s forehead while Hyungwon is dying from laughter beside him.

 

“Can you see Kihyun?” Hoseok questions one day as they’re working on his biology homework.

“Yeah, I can. I can see all of them,” Hyungwon is scanning through the page for the answer, “for once in your life would you focus. I can’t help you in all your exams Hoseok.”

He’s saying that now, but knows full well he will give in the minute Hoseok taps at a problem he can’t solve on the exam so impatiently Hyungwon has to shush him. The other deaths seem entertained by the arrangement the two share, but never say anything about Hyungwon saving Hoseok from earning another F. In general other deaths don’t come forward to engage a conversation with Hyungwon, possibly because of the disinterested attitude he has for everything else besides Hoseok. It wasn’t uncommon for deaths to make friends if their humans became close and spent a lot of time with each other, but the tall male had never had another death hanging around as often as Kihyun.

“Why not? You’re always there anyways,” Hoseok grins, and Hyungwon sighs, not looking up from the text book. “What does he look like? Have you ever talked to him?”

“He’s a lot shorter than me, but he looks like he’s ready to kick ass if anyone mentions about it,” Hyungwon shrugs, “he has light brown hair and a nice voice. And no, I never spoke to him.”

There was no particular reason why Hyungwon and Kihyun didn’t talk, maybe they just didn’t know how to start or there was nothing to talk about. The silence between them wasn’t awkward, they acknowledged each other and nodded or waved from time to time but it was easy staying quiet. 

“Why, you’re with him almost as much as you’re with me? What do you guys do while me and Hyunwoo hang out?” The child-like curiosity was adorable, but Hyungwon would rather have Hoseok focusing on his homework for once in his life. 

“For every question you answer on your work sheet, I will answer one of your questions, deal?” Hyungwon raises an eyebrow and Hoseok lets out an annoyed groan, amusing the elder.

 

Hoseok, at age 17, had never touched Hyungwon, despite knowing him his whole life. They would go through the days with a distance that was never brought up, it was what they were used to. And it always worked out for them. Lately however there had been occasions where Hoseok was craving to touch Hyungwon. He wanted to trace the features of Hyungwon’s face and interlock their fingers for a reason he either didn’t understand or didn’t want to understand. It had always been so simple having Hyungwon there, of course Hoseok had grown fond of him, but it had always been nameless affection that didn’t need to be defined. Hyungwon was the one who made Hoseok the happiest, had always been, and would always be.

“Can I touch you?” he whispers as they’re in bed at night, the safe distance between their bodies feeling too far away. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hyungwon looks concerned as he turns to face Hoseok. 

“Why?” 

“Just…don’t do this,” the black haired male pleads, but Hoseok won’t back down so easily.

“Is it possible for me to touch you?” The pure determination scares Hyungwon, Hoseok can tell from the way he keeps fiddling his fingers. 

“Technically yes, but I don’t think you should touch me.”

“Explain me why,” Hoseok quirks a brow making Hyungwon sigh in annoyance.

“The distance was my decision, it’s to keep you safe. Please just go to sleep,” Hyungwon’s tone is sad and defeated and the younger hates it, but he can’t bring himself to stop.

“Protect me from what?”

“Growing too attached,” it’s choked, but Hoseok hears every syllable crystal clear.

“You’re afraid I would fall in love with you,” the boy knows he’s walking on thin ice right now.

“Doesn’t matter if I love you, but a person is not supposed to love their death, Hoseok!” Hyungwon startles him with the sudden raise of voice, and they both stay still in complete silence for a while. Hoseok can’t find the words to say anymore, it’s unusual for him, so he does the only thing he can think of and reaches for Hyungwon’s hand. To his big surprise, Hyungwon doesn’t flinch or try to dodge, just stays perfectly unmoving while Hoseok interlocks their fingers and wriggles closer until their faces are only inches away. It looks like the elder stopped breathing, but Hoseok doesn’t know if deaths need to breathe in the first place.

“You’re never gonna listen to me, are you?” Is all Hyungwon says after another while of just staring.

“No,” Hoseok grins and leans his forehead against Hyungwon’s. 

 

Hoseok moves into a bigger town for college and dyes his hair light brown. According to Hyungwon he looks more handsome than ever, he works out with Hyunwoo and there’s a line of girls forming, dying for a tiny bit of his attention. It amuses Hyungwon. 

“Hey Hyungwon,” Hoseok beams while they’re playing video games in the college student’s tiny dorm, “do you think we should dye your hair too?”

Hyungwon fakes a laugh while kicking Hoseok’s ass in FIFA again, “you’re hilarious.” 

Hoseok had learned Hyungwon played PS4 quite well for, you know, death. The older makes another goal yelling in victory and Hoseok wants to throw his controller at the TV, but it would be expensive if either of them broke so he simply places it on the bed next to him. 

“You’re such a sore loser,” Hyungwon’s face is smug. Hoseok pouts and crosses his arms in a playful manner causing the other to throw a pillow at his face. It results a short pillow fight, laughter echoing from the walls and for a moment Hoseok lives in a happier reality, one where they would be a normal couple. It all quiets down with Hoseok lying on top of Hyungwon, both of them catching their breaths. 

“Is this allowed?” Hoseok rests his head on Hyungwon’s chest but there’s no heartbeat.

“What? Dating my human?” Hoseok nods.

“I guess there is no rule against it, a situation like ours is unlikely and probably not recommendable,” Hyungwon sounds thoughtful. 

“Why?” The only question Hoseok ever seemed to have, there was so much he didn’t understand it felt like he was running out of time before learning it all. 

“Because I can’t provide you what you deserve,” the sadness hiding behind Hyungwon’s words makes Hoseok’s heart hurt, he wonders if deaths can cry. 

“You are everything I could ask for,” he lifts himself up to place a small kiss on Hyungwon’s lips, the latter’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

 

“I can’t believe you’re an adult already, it feels like just yesterday you would cry because your mom didn’t let you go to the park alone.” Hoseok was set to graduate next year, majoring in performing arts, more specifically dancing. But probably no matter how old he grew Hyungwon would always baby him. _It’s my job_ , the death would say. 

“Kids, they grow so fast right,” Hoseok mimics Hyungwon’s parental tone.  
“Tell me about it,” Hyungwon sighs resting his chin on his palm. 

Hoseok is mindlessly scrolling on his laptop and Hyungwon is reading a book next to him, there’s a comfortable silence.

“What happens when I die?” Hoseok breaks the silence. Hyungwon turns the page and doesn’t pay much attention, “I take you to the afterlife.”

“What happens in there? Will you still be with me?” Hoseok puts his laptop away and tugs at Hyungwon’s sleeve, demanding the other’s full attention. Hyungwon turns to look at him finally, “my job is to take you there, I can’t enter with you.”

Hoseok frowns, he never considered it a possibility that Hyungwon would leave his side at some point. “I don’t want to die then.”

“Think about it logically for a minute, human beings are separated by death too, you wouldn’t live forever with anyone you date,” Hyungwon has a point but Hoseok doesn’t want to admit it.

“Well let’s not take that trip yet, okay,” the younger says eventually as an effort to lift the heavy mood, leaning his head on Hyungwon’s shoulder. “We won’t.”

 

During his last year of college Hoseok needs to take a job along with his studies to start paying off his student loan and conveniently there is a gas station hiring staff for weekend nights. The man doesn’t mind missing out on the parties, hasn’t minded after first year, since nights are usually quiet he has hours and hours to chat with Hyungwon. Being the cashier of a small shop at a gas station wasn’t a dream job, but it was something to pay the bills with. 

“—and that’s why Jooheon was so pissed off at Minhyuk he almost dumped his sorry ass.” Hyungwon is rolling on the floor laughing at the hour long “this is how Minhyuk fucked up this time” story. 

“He’s a good guy but doesn’t think much before acting,” Hyungwon pretends to wipe tears from his eyes. Deaths can’t cry, Hoseok had learned. 

“Agreed.”

The automatic doors open, Hoseok turns to take a look at the customer. An ordinary looking guy probably in his 30s, a bit drunk, nothing out of the usual. Or that’s what Hoseok thought until he saw Hyungwon tense up. 

“Listen man, I need you to give me a couple hundred,” the customer speaks.

“I’m sorry sir, this is not the bank,” Hoseok tries to sound nice, but his heart is trying to escape through his throat.

“Come on man, just one hundred is enough, please,” the customer taps his foot impatiently.

“Sir, I am terribly sorry but I cannot do that,” Hoseok apologizes.

“Fuck you then.” The guy turns and leaves without making a bigger fuss and Hoseok tries to swallow his heart back down. Hyungwon tries to act casual but Hoseok can see his hands shaking. Not only that but the older basically clings onto him for the rest of the night and it’s going to look awkward holding hands with air on the security tapes if someone checks them. It makes Hoseok wonder if Hyungwon is just as scared of the moment they’re forced to separate as he is.

 

Hoseok is late, he is running 37 minutes late to his class as he basically flies out of the dorm. 

“Do I take the bus or the taxi?” He’s mostly mumbling to himself scanning his eyes around the street. 

“The bus comes in 2 minutes, I think it’s better than paying a fortune to stand in the morning traffic,” Hyungwon offers.

“Good point,” Hoseok pants as he makes a sprint for the bus stop just in time. 

It’s crowded like every between 8am and 9am bus in the city and Hoseok is currently 47 minutes late. “I like the way you scowl when you’re stressed out,” Hyungwon teases and Hoseok doesn’t reply, only giving the death a glare spelling you’re a pain in the ass.

It all happens so fast, there’s a loud crash and the bus is hit with a force strong enough to send it falling to its side, broken metal and glass flying everywhere, screams so loud it’s all one can hear. And then it’s all dark for a minute.

 

“Hoseok, Hoseok wake up,” there’s Hyungwon, eyes worried, shaking Hoseok’s shoulders. Wait. No, Hoseok is lying right next to himself, his body is covered in blood, a piece of metal stabbed through his back. Hoseok, the soul that’s detached itself from his mortal body, shivers at the sight. “Did I die?”

“I’m so sorry Hoseok, I’m so sorry,” Hyungwon must say that at least 10 more times, before it hits Hoseok. 

“It’s not your fault,” is all he can whisper. Hyungwon shakes his head furiously and Hoseok thinks heartbreak probably looks exactly like that. The death takes his hands and leads him out of the bus.

“How many others died?”

“I counted 14.”

“What was it?”

“Another bus, the driver had a heart attack.” Hoseok nods, deciding for once not to ask more.

The grip Hyungwon has on Hoseok’s hand would leave bruises if he could still bruise, “I’m so sorry I made you take the bus.”

“It’s not your fault, Hyungwon.”

“You should’ve taken the taxi.” The younger can feel tears forming.

“Stop,” is all he can say before his vision blurs and voice breaks.

 

The trip to afterlife is fuzzy, Hoseok can’t stop crying and Hyungwon keeps apologizing like a broken record, they take countless of lifts going down and still way more down and walk through long hallways each decorated, as ironic as it is, very beautifully, until they reach a big door of some sort and Hyungwon stops on his tracks. “This is as far as I can come with you.”

“No.”

“Hoseok,” Hyungwon’s tone is soft as he wipes the tears away from the other’s cheeks carefully.

“I didn’t want to die yet, there’s so many things I wanted to experience with you, please don’t go,” Hoseok begs and the tears never seem to end.

“There’s nothing we can do, the rules are made for us to follow,” Hyungwon tries to stay strong for the sake of the younger, “it’s time to say goodbye.”

Hoseok lets out a sob, he can feel his heart breaking in his chest, even if he’s pretty sure he doesn’t have one anymore.

“I love you,” Hyungwon whispers, pressing a kiss on Hoseok’s lips, hands still holding his face. 

“I…” Hoseok chokes back another sob, “I love you too.” 

“You should go now,” Hyungwon lets go and Hoseok wants to scream endless objections, but it wouldn’t make a difference so he nods and moves towards the beautifully crafted wooden door.

“Goodbye, Hyungwon.” He turns to take one last look, knowing he shouldn’t. Hoseok wonders if he can remember Hyungwon’s face after walking through the door, he takes in every little detail and stores it in his memory.

“Goodbye.” 

Hoseok thought deaths couldn’t cry, but tears are streaming down Hyungwon’s face as he watches his boyfriend walk through the doors, still trying to crack a smile to lighten up the mood like he had always done.

**Author's Note:**

> yours truly apparently loves making everyone sad and can't write happy things but this was a fun au to write. i originally had a lot more scenes i wanted to write with hyunwoo and kihyun too but it would've gotten too long lmao  
> this was very inspired by ash like every other thing i write so thank you lovely for helping out
> 
> feedback is always welcome!


End file.
